Thursday, 22 January 2009

Rob's autobiographical notes

Rob is often referred to as “possibly one of the tallest Charnocks in Yorkshire”, a bold claim which has yet to be disproved by anyone he’s met. Such is his height that, on a clear day, it is rumoured that he can see Blackpool Tower. Strangely, this claim never seems to have impressed anyone living in Fleetwood.
Rob is equipped with both left and right arms, fully operational eyes and a number of phrases (such as “Enemy tanks approaching”) which can be activated randomly by pulling the cord in the back of his neck. This feature of Rob is not wholly reliable – circuit problems in the past have led to him reciting the dialogue from old episodes of ‘Howard’s Way’ after the cord has been pulled.
Rob has never met either the Pope or the Grumbleweeds, and has no plans to change that in the future.

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