Last week we stated that on the forthcoming Saturday(21st February) the "earth will be consumed by flames, the dead shall rise from the ground and walk amongst us, and those of dubious moral provenance shall be cast into the fiery pit of hell for all eternity". This was a printing error and should have instead stated that Saturday would be mainly overcast.
We apologise to anyone who may have spent the latter half of last week trying to atone for their past sins as a result of this announcement.
This is such an easy mistake to have made, as Michael Fish would surely agree.
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