Monday, 9 May 2011

Summers' Soups

Hello. My name is Summers. Pentonville Summers. I run the largest soup company in Bristol and I’m here today to tell you about some of our new soups. You may have heard that Summers’ Soups recently abandoned producing tomato soup and many people have asked why. Not unreasonably. Indeed, tomato soup accounted for 85% of our product line and brought us an annual income of upwards of thirty-two million pounds. Our thinking, here at Summers’ Soups, is that the past is the past. In this modern age of mobile phones, lasers, clones and Heston Blumenthal, the soup manufacturer is forced to adapt! To innovate! To satisfy the demanding emotional experience of the modern soup consumer! And, so, here is à soupe de l'avenir!

Traditional Farmhouse Bastard

A warming winter broth, that uses potato, leeks, carrot and a special something to leave you feeling as though you worked on a farm with someone who is a bit of a bastard.

Milligan’s Tawny

This is to do with an owl.

Creme de la Chapeau

This was developed exclusively for us by our chief Soupeteer, Cyril “The Hat” Barnes – so called because he always has that feeling that he’s got a hat on, even when he hasn’t. And that’s the feeling you’ll get when you eat this creamy soup!

Oxbow Lake

This is water taken from an Oxbow lake. The location of the lake is a very closely guarded secret. As a result stocks of this soup are extremely low.

Gaz’s Pacho Soup

We sent television presenter Gareth “Gaz Top” Jones to the town of Pacho in Columbia to source ingredients for a whole new soup! We’ve yet to hear anything back from him.

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