A postal mix-up has led to a number of letters destined for the BBC's Points Of View programme being delivered to the Foghorn office by mistake. The correct thing to do is send them on to the BBC. Instead we've reprinted a selection of them below.
Dear Points Of View,
I wish to complain about the biopic 'Curry & Duncan' which was recently screened on BBC4. My wife and I are good friends with Mark Curry and have been on holiday to the Norfolk Broads with him several times. He is a polite, genial man who only very occasionally shows signs of manic-depressive behaviour and is nothing like the character portrayed in your dramatisation. The suggestion that Peter Duncan left Blue Peter because of a feud with Mark is completely untrue, and to suggest that Mark deliberately fed some rabbit livers to Peter at his BBC leaving do, despite knowing that Peter was allergic to them, is possibly libellous. Also, Mark didn't have green wallpaper in his kitchen until 1988 yet you clearly showed a scene, supposedly set in 1986, where his kitchen wallpaper was green and not brown. Would you have treated Valerie Singleton so shabbily? I think not! Overall, it was a highly disappointing evening's viewing for me and made me question what exactly I'm getting for my licence fee.
Yours faithfully,
Hubert De Jong (Mr.)
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I wish to complain aboult a recent episode of 'The Apprentice' where Lord Sugar made a joke about one of the contestants which suggested that he (Lord Sugar) was wholly supportive of voluntary euthanasia in certain circumstances. May I remind the BBC that it is supposed to remain impartial on contentious issues such as this? One certainly doesn't want to see a repeat of the furore surrounding the coverage of the Maastricht Treaty!
Yours faithfully,
Jeremy St. Tremble
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I am writing to express my disappointment in Monday's edition of your flagship regional news programme, 'Look North North-West'. Your reporter spent several minutes filming an interview with me at the recent Brampton Show where we discussed how my parsnips had triumphed in the Root Vegetables (Best Newcomer) category. However, it would appear that the producers of the show dropped the segment in favour of another news story. It's a sad day when my prize-winning parsnips are deemed to be less interesting than a bomb blast at Carlisle railway station! Can the BBC confirm that my interview will still be shown at a later date?
Yours faithfully,
Bilston Twodge
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I was hoping you may be able to settle a dispute that has been ongoing in our household. My wife insists Jeremy Paxman is real and refuses to believe me when I tell her that he is merely a character being played by an actor. She also gets annoyed when I tell her that 'Newsnight' is a satirical drama and the events shown have not actually happened. Please can you help me convince her, as sleeping on the sofa bed is proving to be detrimental to my sciatica?
Yours faithfully,
Standon Hillary
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I am writing to complain about an unfortunate incident that has arisen as a result of one of your TV shows. I have never seen the show in question but I am led to believe that you are currently screening a series on on Saturday nights where Andrew Lloyd-Webber is auditioning for a contestant to star as 'Peggy Suicide' in his forthcoming musical based on the Julian Cope album of the same name. It appears that Mr. (I refuse to call him Lord) Lloyd-Webber says goodbye to unsuccessful contestants with a catchphrase of "You're not welcome here any more, Peggy".
Unfortunately, our son is called Peggy and Lloyd-Webber's antics and catchphrase have led to him being subjected to a certain degree of name-calling, teasing and abuse, both in the playground and at home. Perhaps he might like to consider using a nicer catchphrase, such as "Thank you for having a go, but you're not quite what we're looking for on this occasion. Best of luck in your future endeavours though!" I have little hope that you will use this though, given your desperation to embrace cheap sensationalism in order to attract viewers.
Yours faithfully,
Brian Suicide
Dear Points Of View,
I wish to complain about the biopic 'Curry & Duncan' which was recently screened on BBC4. My wife and I are good friends with Mark Curry and have been on holiday to the Norfolk Broads with him several times. He is a polite, genial man who only very occasionally shows signs of manic-depressive behaviour and is nothing like the character portrayed in your dramatisation. The suggestion that Peter Duncan left Blue Peter because of a feud with Mark is completely untrue, and to suggest that Mark deliberately fed some rabbit livers to Peter at his BBC leaving do, despite knowing that Peter was allergic to them, is possibly libellous. Also, Mark didn't have green wallpaper in his kitchen until 1988 yet you clearly showed a scene, supposedly set in 1986, where his kitchen wallpaper was green and not brown. Would you have treated Valerie Singleton so shabbily? I think not! Overall, it was a highly disappointing evening's viewing for me and made me question what exactly I'm getting for my licence fee.
Yours faithfully,
Hubert De Jong (Mr.)
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I wish to complain aboult a recent episode of 'The Apprentice' where Lord Sugar made a joke about one of the contestants which suggested that he (Lord Sugar) was wholly supportive of voluntary euthanasia in certain circumstances. May I remind the BBC that it is supposed to remain impartial on contentious issues such as this? One certainly doesn't want to see a repeat of the furore surrounding the coverage of the Maastricht Treaty!
Yours faithfully,
Jeremy St. Tremble
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I am writing to express my disappointment in Monday's edition of your flagship regional news programme, 'Look North North-West'. Your reporter spent several minutes filming an interview with me at the recent Brampton Show where we discussed how my parsnips had triumphed in the Root Vegetables (Best Newcomer) category. However, it would appear that the producers of the show dropped the segment in favour of another news story. It's a sad day when my prize-winning parsnips are deemed to be less interesting than a bomb blast at Carlisle railway station! Can the BBC confirm that my interview will still be shown at a later date?
Yours faithfully,
Bilston Twodge
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I was hoping you may be able to settle a dispute that has been ongoing in our household. My wife insists Jeremy Paxman is real and refuses to believe me when I tell her that he is merely a character being played by an actor. She also gets annoyed when I tell her that 'Newsnight' is a satirical drama and the events shown have not actually happened. Please can you help me convince her, as sleeping on the sofa bed is proving to be detrimental to my sciatica?
Yours faithfully,
Standon Hillary
*****
Dear Points Of View,
I am writing to complain about an unfortunate incident that has arisen as a result of one of your TV shows. I have never seen the show in question but I am led to believe that you are currently screening a series on on Saturday nights where Andrew Lloyd-Webber is auditioning for a contestant to star as 'Peggy Suicide' in his forthcoming musical based on the Julian Cope album of the same name. It appears that Mr. (I refuse to call him Lord) Lloyd-Webber says goodbye to unsuccessful contestants with a catchphrase of "You're not welcome here any more, Peggy".
Unfortunately, our son is called Peggy and Lloyd-Webber's antics and catchphrase have led to him being subjected to a certain degree of name-calling, teasing and abuse, both in the playground and at home. Perhaps he might like to consider using a nicer catchphrase, such as "Thank you for having a go, but you're not quite what we're looking for on this occasion. Best of luck in your future endeavours though!" I have little hope that you will use this though, given your desperation to embrace cheap sensationalism in order to attract viewers.
Yours faithfully,
Brian Suicide
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